why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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