dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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