have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
