I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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