I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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