If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
