wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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