the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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