FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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