Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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