Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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