anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
and she was petting her beer can
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
