omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
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I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
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I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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