Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
