Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
