just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
