I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
