She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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