K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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