my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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