Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
