VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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