Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
