One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
