I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
