she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
