shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
