I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
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