His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize