don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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