he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
