the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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