if you like me you must not know who I am
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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