Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
