Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
