I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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