Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
