just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
