I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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