all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize