i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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