thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
