I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
