I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
