I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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