two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
