Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
