My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize