"it" just moved
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
