That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
