Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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