just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
