i jhust puked up my retainher.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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