The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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