Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
