Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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