Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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